"Give It Up"

Last night, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable became Mr. Completely Unavailable. I had e-mailed him on Wednesday confirming our dinner plans for Friday (keep in mind that he was the one who suggested dinner). When I still hadn't heard from him on Friday, I gave him the benefit of the doubt as I wasn't entirely sure the original e-mail went through due to the storms causing some issues with remotely accessing my e-mail. Prior to leaving for lunch on Friday, I sent him another e-mail stating that it was fine if he needed to cancel, but that I was trying to get my schedule ready for sales calls that afternoon and I didn't know what time he would want to meet. I returned from lunch to find that he read my message at 11:49 am, but I still didn't have a response. Once again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and made the assumption he was just in meetings.

Last night, I was officially stood up! I mean I understand if he was unable to call, but is it that hard to send a quick e-mail or text message with a one-word reply of yes or no?!? Men are such utter hypocrites!!! Last week all I heard was about how he was hesitant to get involved because he respected me and didn't want for things to become weird. Well, he obviously doesn't respect me and he has officially made things weird! I am officially done with this situation and am moving on to find someone who can at least call to cancel when plans are made. On a positive note, with all the summer sales, I did get two cute new work outfits last night!

"Lover Lay Down"

Recently Mr. Emotionally Unavailable became Mr. Slightly Emotionally Available. Upon him leaving Charlotte one night, I joking asked if he was on his way to Greensboro, to which his replay was to ask if he should be. Several promiscuous promises by later, he was on his way. A second phone call answered the questions that had been plaguing my curiosity since the flirtation began, but did little to reassure me at that point that I would ever be anything other than president of the Dirty Mistresses' Club. Still, I was optimistic and thought that maybe over time, he would eventually realize his true feelings for me (I know I am such a cliche, but what can I say, I really like the guy). A third phone call revealed that he was too tired to drive, and I was invited to his hotel room (I know, I know, but a girl has needs). So at 12:30 am, I was on my way to his hotel, and since I hadn't done anything like this for quite some time, I must admit it was pretty exciting and I made the trip in record time.

As I woke him up when I arrived (I had him hide the key in the bushes), there wasn't any doubt as to what was on his mind as he pulled me on top of him and started to kiss me. Our clothes quickly came off, and as we were about to take things further, he admitted that he couldn't do it. I was torn between feeling like the most sexually frustrated girl on the planet and thrilled that he was that good of a guy! I have never been so intimate with a man as I was laying there naked in his arms talking, and for the first time ever, I finally let my guard down completely. I ended up leaving the hotel room and headed back to my house. I was also relieved that he called the next day and we made plans for the following week.

To all of those boys in high school that I felt it was fun to tease, I am offering my sincere apologies because I know officially know that the concept of "blue balls" actually does exist and it is no laughing matter. Also, to all of those who thought that the sexual tension was the majority of the appeal and that if an when we ever had sex it wouldn't live up to the hype, you were definitely out of the ballpark if my little preview was anything to go by!!!

"Life in the Fast Lane"

Ok, so Mr. Beach Stud added me as a friend on Facebook today, at which point I obviously checked his relationship status. In playing detective on his page (I swear it was all right on the page for everyone to see so I am not stalking him) I noticed that on May 2, 2007, he changed his relationship status to "in a relationship" and then on May 9, 2007, he changed it to "engaged." I mean who does that!!!! I scrolled down to his wall posts, and he had been active on the site, so it's not like he disappeared for awhile and then came back. I seriously want to know who gets engaged after 7 days?!? I mean am I the only person that thinks that is moving a little fast?!? I can barely get a guy to commit to a second date in 7 days let alone the rest of his life to me!!!

Now I'm curious as to why he messaged me out of the blue too! I guess I really am destined to be president of the Dirty Mistresses' Club!!!

"It's Raining Men"

Have you ever noticed that there are periods in your life where for a brief time, you could be dropped into the middle of a female locker room and still walk away having met a member of the male sex?!? Personally, I would like to figure out the cause for my apparent sex appeal during these points so that I could continue to use it, even if on a smaller scale, during the not so much a man magnet parts of my life. Nonetheless, I have obviously been named the dish du jour on the buffet of love, ok well maybe just lust, for the time being and the males are lining up!

It all started last week when Mr. High School Crush entered back into the picture, in the meantime I have also noticed more guys holding doors open, smiling, and saying hi, then I seemed to meet a few more guys than normal while out on Saturday night, and today when I came home from work there was an instant message from Mr. Beach Stud himself. For those of you who haven't heard the story of Mr. Beach Stud, we met my sophomore year of high school (his junior year) through a friend of a friend. He lived in Wilmington, NC at the time and had a girlfriend (yes, I am finally beginning to see the pattern), so nothing ever developed romantically. Almost every night though we would take turns calling one another where we flirt quite ridiculously and talk about almost everything under the sun. We would occasionally meet in Raleigh when our schedules permitted, but things were always platonic with the exception of the rather intense flirting. Mr. Beach Stud took some time off and worked in order to pay for college after high school, and I would hear from him every now and then. I was out in Raleigh with some friends about five years ago, and we ran into each other. We met up the following weekend and had our first date, where we also had our first kiss. The kiss was everything I thought it would be and more, and I literally felt as if I was floating on a cloud as I drove home. As my luck would have it, Mr. Beach Stud appeared to fall off the face of the planet right after our date, and I wouldn't hear from him for almost two years, at which point he would then crush me by telling me he was engaged! At first, I ignored his e-mails because quite frankly I just couldn't handle another guy not picking me even just to date, let alone marriage, and then eventually the e-mails stopped. I am sure that you can imagine my surprise to find his message today after all of that! My guess is that either the wedding never happened and Mr. Beach Stud is now once again single, or the wedding did happen and after a few years of marriage he is bored and looking for a fling. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised considering my knack for playing the Dirty Mistress role lately!

Just so you know, I did walk away from the computer and spend about 20 minutes trying to keep myself entertained before curiosity got the better of me and I looked him up on Facebook. I know, I know, but a girl has to enjoy the floods while they last because the drought is sure to follow in another week or so as it always seems to do!!!

"Oh What a Night"

The music heard in route to a bar inevitably sets the tone for the night. As I picked up my best friend since kindergarten and headed downtown, the music gods smiled upon us and played a few songs that were vital to our tenure in high school. Bitch by Meredith Brooks happened to be one of these songs, and as we were driving singing, "I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees," I knew that the night would be anything but ordinary.

Another indicator of an interesting night was the toast we selected as we drank our beers on the patio at Mcoul's. "Here's to the boys that we love. Here's to the boys that love us, but the boys that we love aren't the boys that love us so fuck the boys, here's to us!" That simple toast and the fact that we hadn't seen each other for six months, helped put us into a sassy mood as we hit the town. I mean what else could possibly lead me to tell Mr. High School Crush, "Just so you know, I plan on taking you home tonight, and I can't do that if you don't meet us."

Fast forward to the high points of the night at The Rhino, where a guy surely in his late thirties bought me a beer and attempted to impress me by doing the escalator and elevator, the bouncer telling me that I can rip his shirt off anytime when I told him he looked like Clark Kent with the pretend glasses and I was just waiting for him to duck in a phone booth and come out with his Superman suit, and being told by Ms. Elementary School that she wasn't hitting on me but I just looked sexy.

The after party ended up being at my house, where my neighbor, Mr. High School Crush, and Crush's lacrosse teammate joined us three girls. Once the boys arrived, I disappeared with Mr. High School Crush for a bit, and let me tell you, as his arms were wrapped around me, the fact that I still really haven't heard much from Mr. Emotionally Unavailable was the furthest thing from my mind. I guess it's really true what they say about how the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new!!!

"Back in the Saddle"

As I kept alternating between moping around the house and man-hating bitch mode last night, I suddenly heard my phone beep from a text message. I couldn't imagine who would possibly be sending me a message after 11:00 pm on a Wednesday night, so I didn't have high hopes when I flipped my phone open. To my pleasant surprise, it was Mr. High School Crush, who I have been on and off again with pretty much since sophomore year of high school. Lucky for me, we have managed to stay friends through all this without any weirdness because he wanted to let me know that he was in town for the week, and asked if I wanted to get together. I texted him back saying of course I would love to see him, while secretly thinking it could be just the distraction I needed from Mr. Emotionally Unavailable! After receiving my text, he called me and we made tentative plans for this weekend. Now I know what you're thinking because many of you know that he does have a bad habit of flaking out, but he even called me tonight while I was out to dinner to make sure that I was still planning on getting together this weekend and to see if I wanted to hang out with him and the boys tonight. After some suggestive flirting, I told him to have fun with the boys, and that I would definitely call him tomorrow but that I was going to pass on tonight!

In the meantime, I swear he must have some kind of psychic powers as to when I start to move on because Mr. Emotionally Unavailable himself called me today as well! I didn't even begin to make any progress, but at least I haven't fallen completely off his radar!

I may be down from time to time with the boys, but at least I am never out for very long! In the meantime, I am going to have one fun Friday night!!!

"You Don't Know My Name"

During my brief dabble into the country music scene, I attended a Tim McGraw concert with some friends and met a boy at the show. Allow me to set the scene for you....

I had gone to work, and left early afternoon where on my drive home I received what I thought to be at the time, very exciting news. I began to celebrate as I was getting dressed, and was on my fourth drink as we left for the show. As I obviously wasn't driving, I continued to drink once we arrived as well. Within our row, I was at the end of my friends, then there was a couple next to me, and finally a guy next to them with his friends. Now as the show started, I was feeling pretty good and I notice that the guy in my row keeps looking down our row. At first I thought maybe we had escaped from the local insane asylum, but when my friends went to the bathroom and he smiled and waved at me, I realized that he had been checking me out the whole time! I wrote my name and number down and passed it down to him at the end of the show, and he called that night!

The only problem with passing my number to Concert Guy was that I didn't know his name. Furthermore, with his thick country accent, half the time I didn't understand what he was saying, so I probably agreed to all sorts of things in those first few weeks! After calling his voicemail several times when I knew his phone would be off (I swear I am not a stalker), my friends and I decided that we were pretty sure his name was Corban.

Fast-foward almost three years later, and we still talk occasionally. Then the other night, we were trying to find each other on Facebook. I explained that I couldn't find him, and after going back and forth he finally checked that I was spelling Corbett correctly! As it turns out, for the entire time I have known him, I have been calling him by the wrong name! Never once after a voicemail, conversation, or introducing him to my friends did he ever correct me!!!

"White Wedding"

Recently someone told me that they were surprised to find out that I would consider marriage as a possibility. I was told that up to that point, I didn't give off the impression of being the "marrying kind." Is there really a marrying kind? I mean look at Hollywood, there are marriages that last only minutes, and then even some of the marriages that seem to last fall to pieces in full view of the public eye.

I would like to think that instead of being the marrying kind, that I am the content kind. Meaning that if the right guy were to come along, I would like to think that I would be open to the idea of marriage and possibly even a family. However, if I sit around waiting for Prince Charming to knock on my door, chances are the only knocks I will be getting will be from the boys that live next door. Since I have already determined that they definitely aren't my Mr. Right, I am choosing to embrace my singleness and not settle. Maybe some would call my lifestyle that of a party girl, but I'd like to think that by truly living I will eventually learn what makes me happy and appreciate it that much more when I find it!