"Friend is a Four Letter Word"

This weekend I decided that I am officially throwing in the towel when it comes to the two male prospects in my life. I would like to say that I am doing it because I want to focus on my career, have some time for myself, learn a new hobby, or some other admirable reason, but the truth is while each scenario has its own reason, they are much more shallow!

I met Mr. Michigan through a friend of a friend, and while I have suspicions that he may be slightly interested, I just don't have the energy with this one for the typical games we play. I suspect that my lack of energy and not even remotely feeling butterflies in my stomach at the mention of his name may be due to the fact that deep down, I am "just not that into him." I think I am more excited about the prospect of having someone than being with him, and I value his friendship too much to try something. I did decide, to quote a work acquaintance, to pimp him out to my sister. I think they are more along the same wavelengths, and why not keep him in the family! Plus I decided that I would rather be alone than be with someone for the wrong reasons (I know a certain future-therapist friend is jumping for joy right now after that statement).

Saturday night, I spent a fabulous girls' night with one of my sorority sisters, where we decided that Mr. Emotionally Unavailable just really wasn't that fun of a nickname. We decided to rename him the Pathetic Taken Asshole, or PTA for short. This was brought about by my deciding that my feelings for this particular guy are just simply too strong to only be friends. I came about this realization while reading an e-mail from another AOII on Thursday comparing women to apples. The e-mail stated that the best apples are often found at the top of the tree, but often men are content to settle for the lower apples because they are afraid to climb. As I sat at the computer shedding a few tears, I realized that he just isn't a climber and is content to settle and that I want someone who will climb for me! In reviewing the matter with a few members of my support group (because let's face it, I have been practically addicted to this guy), it was decided that I should try to limit the "friend" contact and keep things mostly professional until I can really move on.

I feel as though I have grown this weekend, but I am sure it will all change as soon as a new boy enters the picture! Sometimes it is just so hard to teach a girl new tricks when a boy is involved!

"Cold Beverage"

Last night happened to be the birthday of one of my amazing friends. It also happened to be the night that The Breakfast Club was in town, so we decided to go to the show. I also did not have to drive (a rare occurrence I know) thanks to one of my other amazing friends. I was also planning to meet up with some other friends at the bar. One of these friends happens to be a boy, who I'll call Mr. Michigan, that I met through another friend.

Several of my friends have been telling me to go for things with Mr. Michigan since my birthday in January based on the fact that we look so cute together. I'm not necessarily opposed to the idea, as we always have a fabulous time together, but there are issues that certainly complicate the situation (I know what you are thinking here, but he actually broke up with his girlfriend in March so that is no longer one of the issues). Perhaps the biggest reason I haven't gone for it yet is that I honestly can't tell if he is into me. Take last night for example, he went up to the bar on the roof with his friends, but when I couldn't get up there because of the long line, he left his friends to come back and find me. Also, as we were standing there watching the band, whenever I would move slightly away from him even if it was just to say something to one of my friends, he would watch me to see where I was going. In my opinion, these signs point to the fact that he may be interested in me, but then when we went to leave I got the same hug that my other friends received. What's a girl to think?!?

On a side note, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable e-mailed me this morning to apologize for not getting in touch with me on Friday. He was "having e-mail trouble," which I haven't decided if I believe yet or not. He wants to have lunch this Monday, but I'm not sure what I want (well I know what I want so maybe should is a better term) do. I'm slightly hungover (more dehydrated probably than anything since I only have a headache) with no ibuprofen in the house, which means that I am trying not to think too hard until the headache goes away. Any suggestions on what I should do?!?

"Give It Up"

Last night, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable became Mr. Completely Unavailable. I had e-mailed him on Wednesday confirming our dinner plans for Friday (keep in mind that he was the one who suggested dinner). When I still hadn't heard from him on Friday, I gave him the benefit of the doubt as I wasn't entirely sure the original e-mail went through due to the storms causing some issues with remotely accessing my e-mail. Prior to leaving for lunch on Friday, I sent him another e-mail stating that it was fine if he needed to cancel, but that I was trying to get my schedule ready for sales calls that afternoon and I didn't know what time he would want to meet. I returned from lunch to find that he read my message at 11:49 am, but I still didn't have a response. Once again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and made the assumption he was just in meetings.

Last night, I was officially stood up! I mean I understand if he was unable to call, but is it that hard to send a quick e-mail or text message with a one-word reply of yes or no?!? Men are such utter hypocrites!!! Last week all I heard was about how he was hesitant to get involved because he respected me and didn't want for things to become weird. Well, he obviously doesn't respect me and he has officially made things weird! I am officially done with this situation and am moving on to find someone who can at least call to cancel when plans are made. On a positive note, with all the summer sales, I did get two cute new work outfits last night!

"Lover Lay Down"

Recently Mr. Emotionally Unavailable became Mr. Slightly Emotionally Available. Upon him leaving Charlotte one night, I joking asked if he was on his way to Greensboro, to which his replay was to ask if he should be. Several promiscuous promises by later, he was on his way. A second phone call answered the questions that had been plaguing my curiosity since the flirtation began, but did little to reassure me at that point that I would ever be anything other than president of the Dirty Mistresses' Club. Still, I was optimistic and thought that maybe over time, he would eventually realize his true feelings for me (I know I am such a cliche, but what can I say, I really like the guy). A third phone call revealed that he was too tired to drive, and I was invited to his hotel room (I know, I know, but a girl has needs). So at 12:30 am, I was on my way to his hotel, and since I hadn't done anything like this for quite some time, I must admit it was pretty exciting and I made the trip in record time.

As I woke him up when I arrived (I had him hide the key in the bushes), there wasn't any doubt as to what was on his mind as he pulled me on top of him and started to kiss me. Our clothes quickly came off, and as we were about to take things further, he admitted that he couldn't do it. I was torn between feeling like the most sexually frustrated girl on the planet and thrilled that he was that good of a guy! I have never been so intimate with a man as I was laying there naked in his arms talking, and for the first time ever, I finally let my guard down completely. I ended up leaving the hotel room and headed back to my house. I was also relieved that he called the next day and we made plans for the following week.

To all of those boys in high school that I felt it was fun to tease, I am offering my sincere apologies because I know officially know that the concept of "blue balls" actually does exist and it is no laughing matter. Also, to all of those who thought that the sexual tension was the majority of the appeal and that if an when we ever had sex it wouldn't live up to the hype, you were definitely out of the ballpark if my little preview was anything to go by!!!

"Back in the Saddle"

As I kept alternating between moping around the house and man-hating bitch mode last night, I suddenly heard my phone beep from a text message. I couldn't imagine who would possibly be sending me a message after 11:00 pm on a Wednesday night, so I didn't have high hopes when I flipped my phone open. To my pleasant surprise, it was Mr. High School Crush, who I have been on and off again with pretty much since sophomore year of high school. Lucky for me, we have managed to stay friends through all this without any weirdness because he wanted to let me know that he was in town for the week, and asked if I wanted to get together. I texted him back saying of course I would love to see him, while secretly thinking it could be just the distraction I needed from Mr. Emotionally Unavailable! After receiving my text, he called me and we made tentative plans for this weekend. Now I know what you're thinking because many of you know that he does have a bad habit of flaking out, but he even called me tonight while I was out to dinner to make sure that I was still planning on getting together this weekend and to see if I wanted to hang out with him and the boys tonight. After some suggestive flirting, I told him to have fun with the boys, and that I would definitely call him tomorrow but that I was going to pass on tonight!

In the meantime, I swear he must have some kind of psychic powers as to when I start to move on because Mr. Emotionally Unavailable himself called me today as well! I didn't even begin to make any progress, but at least I haven't fallen completely off his radar!

I may be down from time to time with the boys, but at least I am never out for very long! In the meantime, I am going to have one fun Friday night!!!