"Gimme Some Lovin"

I currently have four ringtones on my phone to give me a general idea of who may be calling me at any particular moment in time. When my girls call me, I hear "Escape, The Pina Colada Song" by Rupert Holmes, and when it's one of my boys I hear G. Love's "Baby's Got Sauce." My parents and sister ring "Everything" by Michael Buble, and for the sake of humor, I gave PTA "The Distance" by Cake.

A few weeks ago I was off somewhere in dreamland, probably quite content when I was suddenly transported to a Cake concert in my dream. As I was sound asleep, it took me a few minutes to realize that in reality it was my phone and not my own personal concert. Since it was barely 5:00 am on a Monday, I couldn't imagine why PTA would be calling me at this particular hour, so curiosity got the better of me and I answered the phone. As it turns out, he was on the way to the airport in Raleigh and wanted to know if a detour by my house was possible. I said yes because I am obviously weak and have no self control when he is involved. I was attempting to give him directions as I ran around like a crazed person trying to shave my legs, brush my teeth, and make myself halfway presentable in the 15 minutes it took him to get to my house.

I opened the door to say hi, and as I closed it, I was backed up against it as we kissed and clothes started flying off. We moved things upstairs where we alternated between fooling around, kissing, talking, and spooning. The half hour that he was here flew by way too quickly, although I'm sure that a few of my tricks should lead him back here eventually. He called to tell me he made it to the airport ok, how much fun he had, how hot he thought I am, and that he would call me later in the week. All I can say is that if I started all my Monday mornings that way, my stress level at work would go down considerably!

As for the whole PTA situation, I have decided that trying not to be attracted to him and having feelings is obviously not working, so I am just going to go with the flow. I plan on having fun and enjoying the ride until someone comes along who makes me as happy but is actually available.

"Let's Try Goodbye"

I am just curious if lying is one of the items Darwin had in mind when he devised the whole natural selection plan. Being male, he must have clearly anticipated it as a way to pick up women because as I have come to discover all males lie in order to get what they want. For instance, I had dinner with PTA and his former colleague tonight, where apparently he developed amnesia and couldn't seem to remember things that we had previously discussed. Specifically those things that were previously discussed during our 4 hour long phone conversation last week.

I gave said male the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he was attempting to keep things as professional as possible and not acknowledge to his former co-workers that we had spoken as much as we had. Fast forward to us walking to our cars, where said co-worker gives me a hug goodbye, but I get absolutely nothing from PTA!!! Then fast forward about 30 more minutes later where PTA calls to tell me how hot I look and how bad he wants to come over, but before our conversation is finished, he is already making excuses! I am so tired of the lies!!!! For once, I would just appreciate it if he was straight with me. I'm not stupid to the point where I can't see through the excuses, and honesty would earn so many more bonus points with me. With this being said, maybe it's time that I focus on the professional relationship and forget the personal one since he clearly doesn't have the balls to tell me the truth! I am so over this whole situation (well at least I am until the alcohol wears off)!!!

"Radar Love"

I am convinced that men are equipped with a special radar device. This device alerts them when a female is making an attempt to move on and is no longer thinking about them at least once an hour on the hour. I am thinking that the device provides a statement that only any male ever associated with you in a romantic or even booty call way can hear such as, "Danger, danger, she's moving on and if you don't act quickly you'll miss out." Anyone who has ever been on a date with a guy only to find three voicemails from other men can surely attest to this theory. It is clearly an evolutionary device that has developed over time as people move apart to help men keep options open for planting their seeds. I am not entirely sure of the scientific background for this theory, but I feel certain that it has to do with some unknown signal produced by the female that is not limited by distance because let's face it, at least one of those voicemails was left by a male who wasn't even in the same state at the time.

Case in point, this weekend I decided to move on and keep things strictly professional with PTA (because I am neurotic enough without trying to be friends with someone who I want to jump every time I see him), and I was beginning to open up to the idea of the possibility of The Pilot. Granted we haven't met yet or even talked on the phone, but we seem to have a lot in common (the most important thing being that we are both single). Nevertheless, one afternoon this week PTA decided to give me a call. Just when I thought I could maybe move on and that maybe everything I was feeling was just sexual frustration, he pops back in just long enough to get back in my head! He even went as far to tell me to give him a call sometime when I'm bored! What the hell does that mean?!? Now as many of you know because I am constantly going through my contacts when I am driving, I can be a talker when I am driving long periods by myself. I am very concerned that on Wednesday, I have a long ride back to my house after I spend a few days at the beach. My question is should I actually call him if I get bored driving? Help!!!

"Friend is a Four Letter Word"

This weekend I decided that I am officially throwing in the towel when it comes to the two male prospects in my life. I would like to say that I am doing it because I want to focus on my career, have some time for myself, learn a new hobby, or some other admirable reason, but the truth is while each scenario has its own reason, they are much more shallow!

I met Mr. Michigan through a friend of a friend, and while I have suspicions that he may be slightly interested, I just don't have the energy with this one for the typical games we play. I suspect that my lack of energy and not even remotely feeling butterflies in my stomach at the mention of his name may be due to the fact that deep down, I am "just not that into him." I think I am more excited about the prospect of having someone than being with him, and I value his friendship too much to try something. I did decide, to quote a work acquaintance, to pimp him out to my sister. I think they are more along the same wavelengths, and why not keep him in the family! Plus I decided that I would rather be alone than be with someone for the wrong reasons (I know a certain future-therapist friend is jumping for joy right now after that statement).

Saturday night, I spent a fabulous girls' night with one of my sorority sisters, where we decided that Mr. Emotionally Unavailable just really wasn't that fun of a nickname. We decided to rename him the Pathetic Taken Asshole, or PTA for short. This was brought about by my deciding that my feelings for this particular guy are just simply too strong to only be friends. I came about this realization while reading an e-mail from another AOII on Thursday comparing women to apples. The e-mail stated that the best apples are often found at the top of the tree, but often men are content to settle for the lower apples because they are afraid to climb. As I sat at the computer shedding a few tears, I realized that he just isn't a climber and is content to settle and that I want someone who will climb for me! In reviewing the matter with a few members of my support group (because let's face it, I have been practically addicted to this guy), it was decided that I should try to limit the "friend" contact and keep things mostly professional until I can really move on.

I feel as though I have grown this weekend, but I am sure it will all change as soon as a new boy enters the picture! Sometimes it is just so hard to teach a girl new tricks when a boy is involved!