"Friend is a Four Letter Word"

This weekend I decided that I am officially throwing in the towel when it comes to the two male prospects in my life. I would like to say that I am doing it because I want to focus on my career, have some time for myself, learn a new hobby, or some other admirable reason, but the truth is while each scenario has its own reason, they are much more shallow!

I met Mr. Michigan through a friend of a friend, and while I have suspicions that he may be slightly interested, I just don't have the energy with this one for the typical games we play. I suspect that my lack of energy and not even remotely feeling butterflies in my stomach at the mention of his name may be due to the fact that deep down, I am "just not that into him." I think I am more excited about the prospect of having someone than being with him, and I value his friendship too much to try something. I did decide, to quote a work acquaintance, to pimp him out to my sister. I think they are more along the same wavelengths, and why not keep him in the family! Plus I decided that I would rather be alone than be with someone for the wrong reasons (I know a certain future-therapist friend is jumping for joy right now after that statement).

Saturday night, I spent a fabulous girls' night with one of my sorority sisters, where we decided that Mr. Emotionally Unavailable just really wasn't that fun of a nickname. We decided to rename him the Pathetic Taken Asshole, or PTA for short. This was brought about by my deciding that my feelings for this particular guy are just simply too strong to only be friends. I came about this realization while reading an e-mail from another AOII on Thursday comparing women to apples. The e-mail stated that the best apples are often found at the top of the tree, but often men are content to settle for the lower apples because they are afraid to climb. As I sat at the computer shedding a few tears, I realized that he just isn't a climber and is content to settle and that I want someone who will climb for me! In reviewing the matter with a few members of my support group (because let's face it, I have been practically addicted to this guy), it was decided that I should try to limit the "friend" contact and keep things mostly professional until I can really move on.

I feel as though I have grown this weekend, but I am sure it will all change as soon as a new boy enters the picture! Sometimes it is just so hard to teach a girl new tricks when a boy is involved!